I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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