Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
