She is in my trunk
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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