Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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