what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
