the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
