We won't sleep together?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
