its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
