i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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