In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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