The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
