Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
