I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
