There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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