Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
