i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
