Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
