I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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