Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
