So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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