Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
