dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
