We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize