Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
