It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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