So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
