she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize