I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
