people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
