Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
