You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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