Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
