i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize