I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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