what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
