Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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