I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
