North Korea, Best Korea!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
