guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
