I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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