you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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