how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
