Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
