its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
