I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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