Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
only you would photoshop your dick
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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