He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ugly people sure do ruin things
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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