tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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