i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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