We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
