Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize