I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
