In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
