whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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