So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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