I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
