Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
