Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Farmville is her only friend.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
