dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
