Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
