i barfeds in our rink
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize