put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
